Sunday dinner

Sunday dinner I had with Jinnie. She has gone back the hospital after her position was suspended there for almost two years because of immigration status. She said the job was killing her. She felt her age. She got night shift at least once a week, which means she has to work 40 hours straight and work on a normal schedule the rest of the week. That is what all first year residents get. “A doctor’s money does not come easy.” She said.

what is interesting is that her husband feels the pressure of having a doctor wife, so he decided to go to law school. He took the LSAT last year, and applied to some schools. He refuses to tell her anything about his score and his application.

She said, she got the job she wanted, she got her green card and she has a happy marriage, but she is still not happy. She said that was the sad part about her life, because she is always unsatisfied. People who are never satisfied won’t be happy.

She is among the very few friends of mine who fall into the category of “unconventional” as I defined. She said she was in between Chinese and American culture which sometimes makes her at loss. She could not comfortably fit in both sides. She has been dating Americans before she came to the U.S., and she married an American. She still enjoys talking with Chinese friends better. She doesn’t want children. She said if she were offered a chance to work in Africa right now, she would just pack and go. She thinks of going back to China, but is not sure if there is a right place for her. She said, I just cannot stop looking around and hoping for something new and exciting.

I told her that was exactly what made her particularly attractive as a person. I was not paying compliment. I like her personality. Most people of her age have stopped dreaming.

People are basically alike. People are unsatisfied with their life, but most choose to ignore, settle down, compromise and stop looking away from what they already have. It is probably simply a fantasy that there is always something better out there. People who choose to push forward don’t find things better, but they definitely experience things different. There is always a price for going either way.

Life is a choice. What a cliche.