Blueberry Picking

今天早上去摘蓝梅，好吃又好玩

歌唱

弯弯的月亮

歌手:刘欢 专辑:刘欢精选辑

遥远的夜空
有一个弯弯的月亮
弯弯的月亮下面
是那弯弯的小桥
小桥的旁边有一条弯弯的小船
弯弯的小船悠悠
是那童年的阿娇
呜——
阿娇摇着船
唱着那古老的歌谣
歌声随风飘飘到我的脸上
脸上淌着泪象那条弯弯的河水
呜——弯弯的河水啊流进我的心上
呜——我的心充满惆怅
不为那弯弯的月亮
只为那今天的村庄
还唱着过去的歌谣
故乡的月亮
你那弯弯的忧伤穿透了我的胸膛呜——

----Silent-singer：今天闲极了，把这首歌来回唱了几遍，用voice yepp录下来，算是我今天的audio journal。

今天早上看到一个关于北大在近三个月发生三起学生自杀事件的报道。

4月22日下午4时，北大理科2号楼，一女子9楼坠亡。
　　5月7日晚9时10分左右，北大理科2号楼，02级数学系一博士生9楼坠亡。
　　7月25日晚8时，北大33号宿舍楼，一男生从5楼宿舍的阳台坠楼身亡。据称该男生为北大心理学系本科生。

然后是评论，专家说法
　　北大教授夏学銮就学生频繁坠楼事件接受记者采访， 一个人活着应该有家庭责任和社会责任感，选择自杀，这种行为是自私的。如果一个人连自己的生命都不珍惜，他就是不负责任。”

看完这段所谓的专家评论之后，我为死者更加感到悲哀。在一个人极度痛苦，无法自拔，最后选择结束自己的生命之后，却有所谓的专家在这里大谈特谈什么“责任”和“自私”。也许他们选择死是在感觉周围无人理解他们的痛苦，极度无助和绝望之后的无奈选择。

可惜的是，他们的死并没有让生者思考一下，我们这些活着的人是不是也对他们的死负有几分责任。

What did I do today?

I reread the book How to Get Into the Top Law Schools.

Received my transcript evaluation from WES, feeling a bit further from the "top".

Done with another thing

I went to take the TOEFL test this morning. Taking such a test in a small city is good. The test center is small, able to accommodate 8 test takers at most, with only one lady working there, and it was quiet, so I could concentrate well on listening without making extra effort to fight against typing noises made by other people.

I had a small problem at first. After the lady checked my driver license, she asked for my passport, saying that this was the policy for non-citizen. “Is that your Daddy who came with you? He can get your passport for you while you take the test.”she said. “Oh, no, it is my husband.” Here was the baby-face thing again. Since I came to the U.S., I have become eager to disclose my age to Americans, because whenever they heard that I was married, they could not close their mouth, as if shocked. Then I had to tell them that I was so old enough to get married, in order not to make them think that Chinese women were in such a dire situation where men made teenage girls their wives.

"Little daddy” drove back home and when he came back with my passport, I was almost done with the test. I got out of there as soon as I could because it was freaking cold.

"It is really hot. I love watermelon!" 

南方周末已经死了

自从来美国之后，就很少看南方周末了，这份曾让我无比喜爱的报纸在差不多三年前经历了一次大劫之后就再也没有往日的力量和魅力了。记得那时学校旁边的报亭每周五到，所以每个周五的中午我会和icecube一起买一份，然后在中午饭的饭桌上开始看，连看不大懂的财经版都不错过。那时让我震撼最大的报道莫过于一些对国内冤假错案的报道，比如一个无辜的高中生被当作嫌疑犯抓起来，几周后父母去把 孩子接回来的时候已经发现孩子的舌头没有了。这样的报道在其他的报纸上是读不到的。 当然，类似的报道也曾让我觉得学法律在中国是毫无前途的。

现在读这份报纸，唯一的感叹是， 南方周末已经死了.

Icecube 似乎比我更恋旧，所以还时不时地上网看，这份报纸明显变得很轻松更具有娱乐性了，但我是没有耐心了，网速一慢，我就撤了。哎。

今天在网上碰到J

今天在网上碰上J， 让我很高兴，这个我在大学里补习过一个学期英语的孩子一直让我很牵挂。

第一次见她的时候是在学校的图书馆门口，她穿着一身黑色的运动服， 戴 着 墨镜，留着一头短发。人长得高高壮壮的，让我以为是个男孩子。后来摘下眼镜坐在我旁边听我给她讲课，才看到一个面孔柔和的女孩。

J性格内向，她的爱好是打篮球，开车和养狗。上大学二年级的时候，就一个人开着车带着她的狗去丽江玩。她话不多，眼睛里充满着她这个年龄不该有的忧伤。后来慢慢知道，她父母感情不好，一直处在离婚的危机中。她甚至常常周末到酒吧一个人喝得乱醉。在我大学毕业即将离开的时候，她送给我一个卡片和一本书作为送别礼物。那本书让我不安了很久，书名我记不清楚了，是一个小有名气的癌症患者在临死前纪录他的生活和思路的书。这份礼物很沉重。

J和我成了很好的朋友，我到了北京之后，她总给我写信，告诉 我她最近心情不好， 但从来不说原因。我给她打电话，有时候是她妈妈接，她总是说j特别喜欢我，但她“不听话“，要我劝她好好学习。

j的改变是从她上大学后慢慢开始的，她考进了一个师范院校，大三的时候就开始做实习老师了。有一次还写信告诉我她去一个山区做志愿者，还到一个家住得特别偏僻的学生家里玩，向我感叹这个学生多不容易。到了她三年级的时候，她就不再给我写 心情沉重的信了。

今天和我在网上聊 的时候能感觉到她特别高兴，告诉我说她已经毕业了， 正在找工作，同时准备考研。记得来美国后又一次打电话到她家里，她妈妈要我鼓励她考研， 但后来我对此只字未提。看来j早就有自己的想法了。

����ǰ�и����� 

我是想说

今天发现家门口有个鸟窝。没想到出现在图片下的文字居然成了鸟语

^--^

自从家里可以同时看CINEMAX, HBO,SHOWTIME， 我的blog上的庄稼日渐稀疏，杂草越来越多

Last Saturday Huggy and Kim, the Korea couple, invited us and Icecube’s roomates to their home for a swimming picnic. They also invited three American couples from their church.

One of the guys named Bob is a lawyer. When we entered Huggy’s house, which we called mini white house, Kim introduced me to Bob and his wife, saying “she is the girl who wants to go to law school.”

Bob was kind and talked with me about his practice. He worked in a medium-sized law firm, doing litigation and defense for big companies. I kind of thought Huggy and Kim had intentionally invited Bob. Huggy and Kim are so nice that they just made me think so. Unfortunately, I was a little bit dumb and did not know what to ask him. I thought I was supposed to have a lot of questions since I didn’t have much chance to meet a lawyer.

Bob’s wife is a funny loud woman. She kept saying “yes” “I agree” while YY and Icecube commented, in Chinese, on the Ping Pong game where WW was playing against Bobb.

“China vs. America. A real game.” YY said.
“Oh, yeah.” Bob’s wife kept nodding her head.

“If YY loses to this big-belly American, he should dig a hole in the ground immediately.”
“Right.”

“Bob is not a bad player.”
“Oh, yeah. I cannot agree more.”

…….

At last, YY turned to Huggy asking if Bob’s wife understood Chinese. “Because each of her responses sounds just logical to what I said.”

Of course, Huggy reassured us that there was no way she knew Chinese.

D.J.J.

D.J.J. is the initial for this funny guy from Beijing (use your imagination, his initials can be pronounced in an extremely funny way and he is very pleased with it). We all agree he is a moron.

Last Monday he went to take the road test. The test site is 40-minutes drive from here (in this small city, this is a long drive). He failed right at the parking lot before he even hit the road: the examiner told him to get into his car so he could test the car lights. As his hand was turning the key to start the car, his right foot stepped on the gas (rather than the brake). He must have hit the pedal hard. The car gave out a terribly loud noise, and shaked like crazy. The officer, standing right behind the car, jumped away from the car, turned back and jumed at D.J.J., with a you-wanna-kill-me-? face.

Today, this moron was failed again. And again right at the parking lot. The officer told him to turn on the emergency brake-- with his early experience in mind. However, D.J.J turned on the emergency light. The officer shouted at him "brake, sir" five times and he did not respond. The officer then turned to us, asking, "Does he understand English?"

National Geographic-- pic of the month 

A Strategy for a Getting A Relationship You Want

Another truth clicked before me tonight. This is the story.

I subscribed the Time magazine last summer at the price of $19.95 for 56 issues. Last month, when my last subscription expired, I received an e-mail from Time informing me that my subscription was automatically renewed if i don't disagree. Ok, good, I renewed. I like the magazine.

However, a couple of days later, I found my credit carded charged $28 by Time. It was outrageous since similar offer at the price of $19,95 is all over the internet. That isn't one should do in return to another's trust or loyalty. So i went on to cancel the subscription.

So tonight i got an interesting e-mail from Time saying "silent singer, Time wants you back". The offer on the table is, $19.95 for 56 issues plus an organizer as gift.

I guess this is a good way to get the relationship you wanted: to reject in order to get better accepted.

But whatever, i am not going to take this offer to get back to Time. A friend tells me i can just pay $2 for the 56 issue.

神奇的染发

听说小青和她老公曾是北航的校花校草, 早早地就来美国了.现在都在大学任教, 虽说都是40左右的人了, 仍旧能看出当年的风采.

不幸的是, 小青几年前得了癌症, 动了几次大手术, 现在还在治疗之中.大概是太操心的缘故, 一头秀发已经白了一半.

今天见到小青, 变化不小, 一头长发变成了齐肩的碎发, 根根白丝变成了极有光泽的红发, 而先前的黑发更加黝黑.

一问, 才知道一个韩国人给她染了发, 秘方来自于印度, 是用多种天然的自然材料组合而成, 包括绿茶, 橄榄油, 醋等. 效果是让黑发更黑, 百发变成深红.

这种自然染色发让我惊叹不已.

An Excerpt from...

----an excerpt from Bill Clinton's My Life.

********
I learned a lot from the stories my uncle, aunts, and grandparents told me: that no one is perfect but most people are good; that people can’t be judged only by their worst or weakest moments; that harsh judgments can make hypocrites of us all; that a lot of life is just showing up and hanging on; that laughter is often the best, and sometimes the only, response to pain. Perhaps most important, I learned that everyone has a story—of dreams and nightmares, hope and heartache, love and loss, courage and fear, sacrifice and selfishness. All my life I’ve been interested in other people’s stories. I’ve wanted to them, understand them, feel them. When I grew up and got into politics, I always felt the main point of my work was to give people a chance to have better stories
********

Sally and Jack

I went to see Sally at her home today. Her husband Jack is doing Ph.D and they live in a one-bed room on the campus. Icecube and I used to live next door. Sally often came over and talked with me.

She and her husband is an “untraditional” couple around here. They are around 40 and have no children. I noticed that whenever people talk about having baby, Sally would walk away. They are the only couple here of whom we know English names rather than Chinese.

Jack always looks quiet and serious and don’t socialize with other Chinese students. I used to see him carrying a big backpack to study in the morning, and coming back home around the same time every day in the afternoon. If he greeted you at all, it would not be more than a “hello” and he then immediately turned his face the other way with an emotionless look that dismissed any of your further attempts to have a short conversation.

Sally is like a caring sister for me. We used to be warmly invited (so warmly that you could hardly refuse)) to the Bible study group in the nearby Chinese Christian church and we both were “not quite into it”. She always got a seat for me before she sat down. Once when Sally was with us, Icecube said he liked dumplings and I was terrible with making dumplings. The next day, Sally knocked at our door, with a large plate of dumplings she just made.

Their apartment was still in the same look as before. As most Chinese students, they only have a few pieces of furniture that only God can tell how many people have used—a desk we gave before we moved out of campus, and a couch covered with a sheet, with a huge pile of Jack’s textbooks lying on it. They live even simpler than most of us—they don’t have a TV, and they have a computer sitting over a paper box beside their bed. The bed and the computer are the only things in their bedroom.

Sally soon became sad when I asked how she had been after I left. She told me she was still in the cold war with her husband and she could not concentrate on study. Sally told me after we became familiar that she and Jack hold Canadian passports. She went to college in Canada long time ago, but that didn’t help her land a job here in the U.S. So she applied to a master program in the University of Maryland where they don’t ask for GRE score. She was accepted and the admission letter was sent to her. However, her husband didn’t let her go because no financial aid was given. Over the past one year and half, Sally has been in cold war with her husband. The war became colder at the beginning of each semester when a renewed admission notice came. The war has been on all through this summer because UMD told Sally that the admission offered to her expired this year. She finally decided to take the GMT. But the preparation for the test made her even angrier. She found the test hard for her and she had to go through the agony all because of her husband.

“He just doesn’t want to spend the money on me. He simply wants someone to cook for him everyday.” Sally said, looking away from me. In the past, whenever she talked about this, she repeated that two sentences, which she thought were the major reasons for the lack of support from her husband.

“He keeps sending money to his family in China, not mentioning how hard we are here. He doesn’t let me go to Maryland even I promise him I will loan money from my friends.” She continued. There was bitterness in her voice and contempt on her face.

Sally once told me that she used to be quiet and her friend was surprised to see her become an outgoing woman. “Life made me so. I had to change. What else could you have done?” She said.

I definitely understand that part. If a woman marries a man who refuses to take care of things outside the house, she has no choice but becomes stronger.

But that is almost all about her past she told me. I could sense there is something unusual going on behind their marriage. She never says “he” to refer to her husband in our conversation. Jack had been working for a couple of years before he came to school here. But they don’t live like he did. Their marriage is like a mystery to me.

Sally told me because she once had a bad car accident in Canada, her neck and legs bother her because she wasn’t treated to full recovery after the accident. Sometimes it becomes worse and she can hardly sleep. She doesn’t have a medical insurance that would cover the treatment here.
“Why didn’t you go back to China to see a doctor. It is much cheaper.” I suggested.
She didn’t say anything, but sighed.

As I was doing message for her neck, I was thinking how lucky I am, and why life can become so hard for such a nice woman.

煮饭婆要来啦

早上见到YY的第一件事情就是问他小蜜(他如是称呼他老婆)二签过了没有.

“怎么样?”
“可以.”

虽然他的回答平淡得听不出一丝激动来, 但我估计他昨天晚上激动得一晚上都没有睡好觉.

“老婆什么时候来?” 我问他.
“还没定.”
“后继有人啦!”WW在一边叫道.
“是呀, 煮饭婆要来了.”YY脸笑开了花.

出门前YY说今天要ICECUBE带他去买电脑. “我去买台便宜的台式机, 家里的笔记本给我小蜜.”

还挺心急的.

看来真的是”打是亲, 骂是爱”. 我们经常问YY想不想他小蜜, 他总是说, “不想. 我老婆又懒又凶. "
然后声情并茂, "我命哭啊! 娶这么个老婆---- 老婆能无条件RETURN就好了.”

有希望啊

要申请的TOP 20的学校中有几所明确要TOEFL(BOSTON UNIVERSITY, DUKE, UVA), 所以还得去考一遍. 自以为上次的笔试成绩很辉煌, 应该不用太紧张, 但上网看看, 不少人都笔试不错, 却栽在机试上了. UHM, 不能掉以轻心.

搜索一下网上的资料, 可真是不少, 比如这里, 不少人孜孜不倦地讲述机经, 发表学习总结, 在看这里,这家伙可是费了不少工夫啊.

看考试论坛, 就觉得咱们的民族还是很有希望的, 这么多勤奋学习, 无私奉献的有学有识之人!

头疼

这两天开始琢磨该写PERSONAL STATEMENT了，这主题该怎么定, 实在头疼. 想我个人经历, 实在没有什么闪光之处.

年少时的梦?-- 死了. 再说那时候我好象是想当记者来着。

愤青的崇高理想?--没有. 我乃一逍遥派，一直到愤青一词被人扔到垃圾桶之后我才知道彼为何物.

想来想去大概就只能苦大仇深一把了， 想我家世代贫农，我妈怀我那会只有红薯可吃, 我也没有营养不良, 大脑迟钝， 而且就我在千军万马挤独木桥那会儿没掉进河里, 最终得以过上资产阶级的生活，可圈可点的地方还是有的。

要不看看克淫棍(Mr. Clinton, ICECUBE翻译英语人名很有一套的)的MY LIFE, 找点灵感?

N/A

今天在中国店里碰到老地主和他老婆, 老地主见到我后就伸出他的小肥手, "握个手, 握个手."

我傻愣愣地跟他握完手, 一脸疑惑, 没懂什么意思.

"我老婆在你进攻法学院的精神鼓舞之下准备考MSMLE啦, 还得谢谢你啊."

哦, 原来如此.老地主婆在国内是医生, 来这里被迫学了两年护士专业, 现在在一个私人诊所里当护士, 老地主的老爸是个老中医, 一家人总觉得能在国内当医生的材料在美国当护士, 实在是不爽, 但地主婆经过国内医学院和这里的护校的折磨之后已经无心向学. 现在决定考MSMLE无疑让老地主乐得不行.

地主婆不好意思地在旁边说, "我就试试看, 要咱不是这把刷子就算了."

不过依地主婆的个性, 她要决定试刷子了, 可不是闹着玩的.